I think that any good novel should include the following.
|Because Hitler is funnier as a cartoon.|
|An Example of an Author Who Knows What's What|
You've gotta include the Zombies just for that WOW factor. You know like "WOW! The author was really reaching on that one!" That goes double if you can make it a Zombie Redemption Tale...
HA! Just kidding, we all know that the only way to redeem a zombie is to shoot 'em in the head.
|Hmmm... I don't see any eyeliner on this guy.|
Not fruity Jack Sparrow type of pirates. The kind of pirates that would sooner cut out your tongue than look at you. (Somalian pirates must pass an AK-47 maintenance and marksmanship test before being allowed to apply.)
Obviously the bad guy is the sum of his parts. So one zombie-nazi is worth one zombie and one nazi. Giving you two for the price of one. There are modifiers that can be considered multipliers, though.
|I'd like to see Scooby Doo unmask this guy.|
|Space-Nazi-Zombies?!?!?! Our hero doesn't stand a chance.|
Let's face it. People who read books are dumb. The only way that they'll remember your character's names is if you make them alliterative. Like Dak Daksterston, Dudley Dooright, or Frankie Feelgood. All of these are excellent protagonist names.
Antagonists and Higher Education
|This guy looks perfectly trustworthy... Until I tell you he's a doctor!|
The Flawed Protagonist
|We all know that Han shot first. He's a killa.|
|The Queen of England called him 'lugubrious.' I call him pansy.|
Easy to Read Dialogue
|These movies are well known for their excellent dialogue.|
|Pretty sure his manliness level is OVER 9000!!!!!!!|
Treat Women as Objects
|Yeah. He knows what he's doing.|
Write While Loaded
|I love scotch! Scotchy, scotchy scotch scotch!|